


Unworthy

by enaykin, Valka



Series: The Wolf's Blood [3]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Character's inner thoughts, M/M, Self-Doubt, after Vaeyin and Faycen's wedding, consummating the wedding, intimate scene, self-depreciation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-25
Updated: 2017-04-25
Packaged: 2018-10-24 01:44:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10731579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enaykin/pseuds/enaykin, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valka/pseuds/Valka
Summary: Short excerpt describing Faycen's thoughts on the evening after his marriage to Vaeyin.Companion character Faycen Malik to Inquisitor Vaeyin Lavellan.Valka tagged as co-author because she owns Vaeyin Lavellan, the Inquisitor.





	Unworthy

If there's anything Faycen typically wasn't, it's sentimental. In his world, practicality meant survival. Material possessions slowed you down, relationships made you weak. Sex was either a tool or a diversion. Nothing in his life held meaning, because once it did, that meant you could lose it. It was easier to consume and move on, just as the animals he mimicked did. Life was simple. 

Until he met Vaeyin. 

An entire world opened up that Faycen hadn't even known existed. To be loved. Feel affection in every touch, each caress, see it reflected in emerald eyes. The concept was wholly new, and one he rejected for a long time. Vaeyin wanted something from him, everyone always did. 

But that wasn't true. The love Vaeyin gave him was unconditional, never expecting anything back. Hoping, but never forcing him. This gentleness rocked Faycen to his core, Vaeyin was left open and raw, easy for Faycen to rend to shreds. The responsibility was daunting, and he rejected it at first, hurting Vaeyin when that was the last thing he wanted. 

There was no going back, he realized too late. Once he'd tasted what he could have with Vaeyin, undeserving or not, all his railing and resisting was merely a preamble. He'd been lost the moment he had spied Vaeyin in the Chantry garden, digging through the snow to find his amulet.

With a past as bloody as the darkspawn horde, he knew he didn't deserve him. Storms take him, he didn't deserve Vaeyin. 

And that was why, sitting with him now, on the night he'd finally wed this incredible man, he felt small, insignificant, and so undeserving. They had coupled countless times before, but somehow everything had changed, it was different. Thinking back on those first few times he realized how cavalier he'd been, how careless. 

Vaeyin was something to be treasured, precious. Not shoved up against a wall in the Chantry, then discarded like he was merely using him. Regret was not an emotion Faycen was wholly familiar with, yet he understood it now. 

Here and now, alone in their chambers, he couldn't stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks as he peeled away the stuffy wedding adornments, shaking his head at Vaeyin's worried questions, unable to articulate how he felt. Every inch of that pale, rose flushed skin that was revealed, he had it all memorized, but even so-it was like seeing it for the first time. 

The tears continued to fall as he was bared fully to his eyes, laid out beneath him gently, petal soft like the flower Faycen nicknamed him after, only for him. Faycen was never emotional, but his breath stuttered as he sank into Vaeyin's warmth, tears wavered his vision as he clung to his new husband, touching his delicate face with fingers full of reverence. His throat was closed so he couldn't answer Vaeyin's concern, but his mind screamed loud enough to be heard, 'I don't deserve you.’

And the fact that Vaeyin understood even one as broken as him, pulled him close to seal their lips, whisper reassurances, words full of love and devotion, Faycen felt himself breaking apart even as Vaeyin soothed his jagged edges. Even after the words fell silent, replaced instead by heavy breaths and exclamations of passion, Vaeyin held him captive with his love, shining through his eyes as Faycen moved within him. With him. 

So familiar and yet new, the fluttering warmth embracing him, arms delicate yet strong circling, holding him close, cradling him as though he were the breakable one. In truth he was. 

Unified in body and soul they moved toward completion as one. As cracked and broken as Faycen was, Vaeyin was convinced he didn't need fixing, instead folding himself into him, moulding himself where Faycen needed support most, even though it should be Faycen supporting him. The Inquisitor, an elf mage, the man all Thedas relied on. Instead Vaeyin gave of himself, and gave and gave and gave. 

And Faycen was not worthy. Not by a long shot. But he would try, he would be the man Vaeyin needed. He would never hurt him. 

Clutching Vaeyin as completion washed over them both, Faycen promised he would never let anything happen to him. As long as breath filled his lungs Vaeyin would be happy. 

**Author's Note:**

> enaykin.tumblr.com


End file.
